I have been told that I am self-deprecating. I would agree with that statement and, in fact, often characterize myself as such. I am not sure when I started it but I do know I tend towards self-deprecation in situations where I would like to make it clear that I already "know" of my shortcoming.
Say I'm about to go dancing with friends. I would automatically make a comment about my lack of rhythm. This is a self-deprecating statement. (It also happens to be the truth...dammit, there I go again.) But I say it because I want to be sure that the people who are about to witness my "dancing" know that I know that I suck at dancing. It seems better to offer up my shortcoming(s) than to not say anything and leave people wondering quietly if I know that I do indeed dance like Elaine from Seinfeld.
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| This is from a Facebook page devoted to Elaine's dancing. See, there IS someone who has more time on their hands then me! |
Here's the rub. The argument could be made that said friends would not notice that Elaine and I are long-lost dance partners after watching my booty shaking. Maybe some would even think I am not half bad. (This is a very poor example because honestly there is no getting around the fact that I am a terrible dancer.) BUT, say my friends were extremely near-sighted and they were not wearing corrective lenses. At that point, my blurry shimmy shake could possibly look somewhat appealing. If I hadn't make any self-deprecating comments about my dancing abilities, my half-blind friends would not know the difference and my dance skills would never be questioned.
A supermodel once said (no, not to me directly) that she never tells anyone her flaws because maybe no one has ever noticed that her third toe was wonky (or whatever other insignificant flaw she might have had), and she certainly wasn't going to point flaws out herself. That's a great attitude, especially if you are a supermodel. Since I put my supermodel career on hold to work in investment publishing and marketing, I don't really abide by her rule. In truth, I probably overcompensate. I know that I am self-deprecating, almost to a fault (which is pretty funny if you think about the fact that I'm self-deprecating about my acts of self-deprecation). Sigh. I suppose I do it to be funny (I like to think I'm funny. Well, my mom thinks I'm funny too. I'm pretty sure the cats do too, but they can't laugh. If they could laugh, though, I think they would.) Yet, I am starting to realize that it is probably less funny than it is uncomfortable to others. I don't do it to get compliments or anything like that. But, I think it might make people feel weird. And, I think that because someone whose name rhymes with Tom (and who gave birth to me) told me this. As I ponder this subject further, it probably does gets old when the same person is always down on themselves - I know others with this self-deprecation "affliction" and I don't like it when they constantly put themselves down because I think they are great and wish they would think that about themselves too (Meorge, if you are reading, Hi!!) My "it's all in the name of humor" probably only gets me so far. Especially since I'm not really that funny OH MY GOD I can't even stop TYPING in a self-deprecating manner. This is going to take more than one blog post to work through.
Anyway, I think I'll add to "Stop being so self-deprecating" to my rather lengthy list of things I want to work on. It will fit nicely before "Learn to dance." Bam!
P.S. I never made it to Michael's to buy a darning needle so you are just going to have to wait for the photos of my finished knitted creations, darnit!
P.P.S. I'm looooong overdue for another rambling diatribe about men and how weird some of them are. Men Are Crazy, Volume II, will be available for your reading pleasure soon. Volume I was very well-received so, ladies, get ready for another thrilling set of tales from the dating trenches.
P.P.P.S. If anyone has been wondering (and I know that you ALL have been!) about my work out and diet plan, let me confess. It hasn't been that easy over the past week. Work is intense and is only going to get more intense as the fourth quarter continues (OMG I sound SO grown up when I say things like that). That means stress-eating triggers and trouble working out at night due to um, collapsing onto the sofa as soon as my 10-11 hour workday concludes. Therefore, I am about to make another sweeping declaration a la Marshall (if you watch HIMYM, you will get that reference; if not, well that is just your loss).
Sweeping Declaration: I am going to start working out in the morning. That is the ONLY solution I can come up with. I simply cannot work 9 a.m. - 7 p.m. or 8 p.m., non-stop with no breaks, drive home 30 minutes and then work out immediately. It is not in me. Eating dessert in lieu of dinner is in me. Putting my pjs on and watching shitty TV saved in my DVR is in me. Writing a meaningless, pointless and relatively unread blog post is in me. BUT, working out after a long day at the office is not in me. So, that leaves me with only one option: Stay fat - I mean, get up in the morning and work out. I'm going to try tomorrow. I'll keep you posted. Because, duh, I have a blog and by golly, I'm going to use it.
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